Sunday Will Come

Lincoln & I were reading the talk "Sunday Will Come" by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin. It is from the October conference, which was a few weeks after Jackson died. I remember this talk hitting me pretty hard...it is all about death and the resurrection. My favorite part of the talk is when he says, "...death is merely the beginning of a new and wondrous existence." I love that thought!

Poem

My dear friend, who had a little boy who was stillborn six months before I did, wrote this poem when her son died. It describes my feelings perfectly.

"For almost nine months we waited for you...
Dreaming, and planning and shopping, too.

We looked forward to that special day
When we could bundle you up and carry you away.

But we had to say goodbye before saying hello-
Letting go of our dreams of watching you grow.

Then somehow through the pain and tears
Your spirit came and calmed our fears.

We had never felt such pure love and grace
As we held you in our arms and kissed your sweet face.

Now in your strong arms you'll carry us through
Until that beautiful day when we again hold you.

We will feel such joy as we look in your eyes,
That love and laughter will replace our cries.

And together we'll kneel at Our Savior's feet,
Knowing at last that our family's complete."

My favorite picture

This is how I remember Jackson. This is our favorite picture of him. We felt his spirit right there in the room for hours. Even though he isn't here, I know him and his personality, I love him, and I know that he has access to me and to our family. I love the times when I feel him near. There isn't a feeling like that in the world. I know he loves me & that I am his mother. I am so lucky to have such a special son who I will someday be able to see again.

Burial in Snowflake

The Snowflake cemetery is beautiful. We drove Jackson's casket up in the back seat of our car. It was a great experience. Because the casket was so small, Lincoln was able to lower the casket into the ground himself. We buried Jackson next to Lincoln's uncle Reaves who died when he was in his 20's. He never got to have kids of his own, so we felt good about having Jackson & Reaves buried next to eachother. My aunt Elizabeth gave us the flowers to put on the casket & my uncle Chris paid for the casket. We are so blessed! Seriously, I never knew there were so many good Christlike people. We felt such an outpouring of love & prayers, it was incredible. For two weeks after the burial it was like angels were surrounding us and nothing bad could get in. What a huge learning experience this has been! Heavenly Father has blessed us so much!

Jackson with lamb

Jackson's hair looks really red in this picture...I guess he takes after his daddy. It actually didn't look that red in the hospital...I thought it was brown. We buried Jackson holding this little lamb. We have matching lambs & I have a mama sheep. My mom's next-door neighbor gave us these. It was so considerate of her. The blanket that we buried him with was made by Lincoln's sister Wendy. It has a sun on it to symbolize the celestial kingdom. Wendy made it in Flagstaff and Lincoln's cousin Molly drove & met her halfway so that we could have it in time for the burial. So many people served us in so many different ways. Wendy & Molly were incredible, as well as many others. The blanket was white satin, and was the most beautiful blanket I have ever seen.

My mom with Jackson

I know that my mom will be an awesome grandma to our kids.

Lincoln & I with Jackson

This was Jackson's viewing. My mom came with us, so it was just the three of us with Jackson. This was a special time where we got to kind of say goodbye to him. We dressed him in the outfit that my two brothers were blessed in. We cut some of his little curls to keep. We also wrote letters to him & included a family picture in two little bags that we laid next to him. I need to get a copy of the picture...it is the only family picture we had taken when I was pregnant with Jackson.

My sweet little boy

This was taken just before the funeral home came to take Jackson's body to prepare it for burial. I miss him so much and love his sweet spirit. I am so grateful to be his mother.

Jackson's baby blessing

Jackson's baby blessing was of course not like most others. It took place in the hospital room with both mine & Lincoln's parents and my sister Melissa there, as well as Lincoln & I. Lincoln gave him a name & a beautiful, simple blessing. We named him Jackson Pratt Hiatt. Jackson is Lincoln's grandma's maiden name...she died when Lincoln was younger. We chose Pratt because of Lincoln's relation to Parley P. Pratt, who is his 3rd great grandpa. Lincoln actually got to wear Parley P. Pratt's temple clothes when he & I were married. Pretty amazing. We are both lucky to come from such strong families.

The teardrop

This sign was placed on my hospital door, signifying a loss. The teardrop represents intense suffering of loss. The leaf is fallen but is upturned and cradling the teardrop, which brings a sense of comfort & hope. Just as seasons change, so do feelings, as Lincoln and I have learned. We have experienced a wide range of emotions, but through it all we have received such intense peace & love that we could never deny that this was the Lord's plan for us and little Jackson.

Hospital pictures

Before I had Jackson...Lincoln was so supportive and was there by my side the whole time. This was a great time for us. The spirit was so strong & we felt that angels were around us lifting us up.
The next morning, after I delivered Jackson. I rewarded myself with a Banana Cream Pie Shake from Sonic. :)

Pregnancy pictures

Right before Shawn left on his mission at the end of July.

Family Trip

I already posted this one on my blog, but this is my family with a few extended relatives up in Utah. I was about 6 1/2 months along here.

Nametag

My little sister Megan put this on my stomach as a nametag for Jackson. We were at a big family reunion and we all had nametags on & she thought that he needed one too. I thought it was really sweet.

Ultrasound pictures

I don't know what was up with Jackson, but seriously half the ultrasound pictures that we have of him were of his private parts! This one is looking from underneath again...his feet are on the left. Do you see it now?

It's a boy!

We thought that this was absolutely hilarious! This is when we found out that Jackson was a boy. Pretty obvious...huh? It looks like he is sitting on a glass table & you are looking up from underneath. He definitely had no shame! :)

His face

I loved this one, because his profile was so perfect. It looks like he has a cute little button nose in this picture.

His cute little foot!