A few nights ago I got out Jackson's box & looked through its contents. I haven't done that in months. I love reading the cards that everyone sent when we had him. You would be amazed at how much others served us during this time...I wish I could list everything that was done for us. It was absolutely INCREDIBLE to witness. I felt like people truly helped us to carry our burdens & that they made them lighter. I love looking at the locks of hair that we cut from Jackson's head. He had the cutest curls. The second picture shows the little bracelet that he wore around his ankle in the hospital. The sheep & lamb in the last picture were given to me by Kristen Spuhler. We buried Jackson with a lamb that looked just like this one, & she gave us enough to all have a matching one like his. I also got a mama sheep. I need to find a place to display these in my home...they are really special to me. When I am feeling down I can always get this box out or get his little blanket out & I immediately feel better. It helps me to realize how incredibly blessed I really am.
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I accidentally left this comment on a post from 2007, so I wasn't sure if you'd ever see it so here it is again! Forgive me, I'm a space cadet!
I am so sorry for your loss! I can't think of a better way to honor the memory of your beautiful little boy than to put your feelings and experience out there to bless the lives of others!
My daughter, Savannah, was stillborn on February 9 of this year at 35 weeks so I understand some of the conflicting emotions you have gone through. Happy for our babies that they get to serve their missions in a place where they will never feel pain, frustration or grief. Honored that the Lord would let us be part of the eternal progression of such a perfect little soul by helping create their bodies. Devastated that they can't stay here with us. I haven't cried in a long time, but I sobbed when I saw the picture of you and little Jackson right before the funeral home took him. That was such a raw moment for me! I felt the spirit so strong throught the entire labor process but reality kicked in when a stranger came to take my baby, and he wan't going to give her back! This kind man looked at me as my husband handed our little girl over to him and said, "I promise we'll take good care of her." at that moment the spirit whispered to me, "so will I". It was a comforting reminder to me that I wasn't actually handing my little lovey girl over to a stranger. He was only taking her little tabernacle. Our babies are "alive" and well with our Savior and watching over us.
I'm very grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that is truly our FATHER and can "take care" of our little angels better than we ever could, until we are reunited again!
Your little family will be in my prayers. If you ever need someone to talk to or vent to that understands a little taste of what you've been through feel free to email me: zeeneye@gmail.com
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